🤫🧏‍♂️ The Fine Art Of Half-Truths In Fortune Telling

Give it to me straight

Each day, we are in a flux between truth and lie.

When I ask our local deli clerk why the rack of Doritos Cool Ranch is empty, he mumbles that his boss forgot to order them. The next day, his colleague confesses that it was indeed his responsibility after all — not the boss.

Even buying chips at a grocery store is a study in misinformation. We are human after all. The clerk either didn’t want to admit fault, or the other colleague was fibbing; who knows?

What’s true is that no one gives a hoot at this Avenue C bodega.

Strangely, Turkish coffee fortune reading is similar.

Being a psychic is 15% of my work. The other 85% is cultivating a healthy group dynamic. You want everyone in the room involved in each other’s fortunes. This involves displaying hospitality, warmth, light-heartedness, and lots of energy (provided via Turkish coffee of course) — so that everyone feels at ease.

What does any of this have to do with lying?

Because the other week, a guest floored me with her question.

THE QUESTION THAT DESTROYED DR. HONEYBREW

“I couldn’t tell what was said for fun, and what was for real in my fortune reading”.

It was innocently relayed by someone who is perhaps a little lost in life at the moment. Actually, I am also emerging out of the most difficult 4 months of my life. Every one of us are liable to these harsh periods in life.

Even me — Dr. Honeybrew.

Nonetheless, I was a little taken aback. Because I had two choices:

1. Answer in the most truthful way possible; explain in detail why the theatrical element of my work is a necessary factor in uniting the room.

How the magic tricks, the sound effects, all combined together with my sharp as a knife psychic intuition, conjures a dense smoke of laughter and camaraderie amongst participants. How the beauty of these ceremonies lies not within our own personalized fortune reading, but in our collective capacity to be present — for each other’s fortune readings. Once again, this is 100% truth.

But I decided instead on the more ambiguous answer.

2. Explain that all of tea leaf and coffee readings are interpretational. That my predictions shouldn’t be taken so literally. A simple prediction of one surfing through a tsunami could mean many different things — namely persevering through a troublesome time with an extracurricular activity of nautical sorts; perhaps.

But midway through my explanation, I notice her glancing at her phone. So, I stopped talking, and wished her farewell.

She responded with a lukewarm nod.

TELL THE TRUTH, LOSE. DON’T TELL THE TRUTH, LOSE.

One of my oldest mottos for fortune telling is to “always tell the truth”.

Meaning, if you see something “wicked” inside of a cup of Turkish coffee grinds, go ahead — say it. But, a good psychic should also share the prevailing result (the silver lining) that the momentary misfortune is causing.

Letting someone linger on bad news is the antithesis to proper fortune telling.

Yet sometimes, ambiguity is gentler than truth. Einstein’s theory of relativity, no matter how correct, is meaningless to someone without a fundamental understanding of math.

People who aren’t ready to hear reality, a fortune teller won’t awaken them to it.

But let’s be honest — I have no idea what the theory of relativity is.

TALKING TRUTH WITH CRAZY

The other day, I got a string of messages from a longtime customer clearly having a psychological breakdown. My urge was to help, but the “entertainer-to-customer” boundaries were no longer proving useful.

At that point, the kindest thing was to suggest professional guidance.

Because what do you do otherwise — tell someone they’re crazy? Of course not. Confronting their version of reality would only push them further into it.

Truth doesn’t always deserve to be spoken, even when it’s true. Sometimes it needs to be modified, softened, or delayed — like explaining the birds and the bees to a child. Too much too soon, and the damage is done, like Neil Young once said.

WHAT TO LET IN, WHAT TO LET OUT

Reading fortune in a chaotic place like New York City is tough. And while certain encounters do require a lot of energy, I still have the best job in the world.

Because fortune reading is about communication. Knowing when to dress the truth in dressing, and when to serve it cold. Knowing what to put and what to leave out.

So when someone asks me the difference between what’s “real” and what’s “fun” in a fortune reading, my answer is simple:

“That’s the whole point.”