⏰💫 You’re Late. But I Still Love You.
The Art of the Grand Entrance 🚪
Picture this.
The light smoke of brownie scented incense sticks waft through my dimly-lit living room. A cozy bundle of enthusiastic strangers, present for the future, laugh and exchange humorous anecdotes while sipping Turkish coffee.
Hell yeah.
We are 17 minutes into a Turkish Coffee Room ceremony. Everyone is finally settled in, and relaxed. The group dynamic is starting to pour with excitement, like the bubbles of foamy espresso that just leaped into their cups.
Then the buzzer rings.
Tension strikes the room like lightning. Everyone shifts, readjusting themselves in anticipation for who else will be joining their fortune reading.
You can hear a needle drop.
I don’t show it. But deep down inside, I take a quiet, calming breath. And open the door with a bombastically enthusiastic greeting that serves to contrast the now deflated room.
Because, guess what?
I will never shame you for arriving late to Turkish Coffee Room.
Freedom Vs Authority ⛓️💥
When I first started Turkish Coffee Room in 2018, it was a loosey-goosey affair — a revolving door in the truest sense. Curious souls, unfamiliar with the ancient coffee tradition, strolling through with mutual friends for quick hellos and readings.
And part of me to this day, misses that structureless form.
Because once rules are implemented, the soul of an operation risks being wasted in favor of formalism. Which frankly, is the antithesis of espresso fortune reading — aka — the subconscious exploration of secrets contained within the grounds: serving to offer enlightenment, guidance, and hope.
It’s serious stuff.
When one becomes authoritative, wagging their finger in admonishment, their third eye will remain obstinately closed. But conversely, the third eye is also doesn’t open when there are distractions present.
I’ll give you a hint: 90% of my job facilitating a healthy group dynamic. The other 10% is the fortune readings.
OPEN YOUR MIND 🍩
In every job, there is something to bitch about.
Forgive me for the harsh language. But you know what I mean.
The challenge then becomes to remain unaffected by the minor annoyances that are cooked into each occupation from the get-go.
Finding healthy solutions to mitigate these frustrations, instead of yelling at the sky for bearing storms that are part of nature’s order, is also part of the job. Though sadly, there are no rulebooks that will elucidate how you can achieve this zen state of mind.
It is for you to figure it out.
Here is the thing. We often forget that in a job — be it a store, company, or institution — we actually have the upper hand. We know the ins and outs. The customer doesn’t.
Therefore, every interaction should be a quiet lesson in patience, warmth, and grace. Even when you’re about to read ten fortunes of ten complete strangers.
Because one day, you may be the customer at their counter.
And perhaps even a few minutes late!
Strike, You’re out! ⚾
With all of that being said, once we’re 20 minutes into our ceremony. I can’t allow any new guests to join.
Ouch. It even hurts to write that.
The reason has nothing to do with me, which sounds like the start of a terrible excuse, but it’s true.
The true manifesto of Turkish Coffee Room is not so much rooted in reading fortunes with the most lighting-speed accuracy, but rather, having every breathing entity in to feel as though they are cared for, acknowledged, and ultimately — entertained.
But most importantly, to create a web of love amongst strangers that extend beyond each individual’s purpose for attending.
I am your captain. Waging our ceremony through rocky waters, in search of the spiritual zenith where everyone’s trials and tribulations become as one — where you feel just as invested into the story of the person sitting next to you, as they do to your own.
This collective achievement is undermined when there are no rules.
Because when I spend more energy recalibrating the group’s kinship to one-and-other, instead of focusing on performing the actual fortune readings — its’s a lose lose for everyone.
Show up 19 minutes and 59 seconds into a ceremony — you will be invited with arms wide open.
Show up 20 minutes into a ceremony, the buzzer will be shut off. Yes, a new ticket will have to be purchased.
But rest assured. I will gladly upgrade it to VIP so that you may receive an evil eye bracelet and a coffee fortune box set on the house as a gift for your next visit.
And again, I hate rules. But if certain rules have to be in place for a better experience, then I am all for it.
Thank you for understanding, and let’s all bear greater patience to one and other.
—Dr. Honeybrew 🐝
Your neighborhood fortune teller, spiritual anarchist, and part-time stickler for punctuality.
☁️ TL;DR (TOO LATE; DON’T RING)
🙈 Show up after 20 minutes? The buzzer’s off, baby.
💔 It’s not personal — it’s about protecting the group magic.
🫶 Everyone deserves to feel seen and heard. Sans distractions.
🎁 You’ll get a VIP upgrade + goodies next time.
🤡 I hate rules. But I love you more.
