Curb Your Enthusiasm

This blog has nothing to do with the TV show so let’s get that out of the way. 

Though yesterday, a customer of mine was flaunting a very cool Larry David hat. So perhaps, the title remains mildly kosher considering the very important astrological issue at hand.

So let’s address the elephant in the room — why do I make customers cry during my Turkish coffee fortune readings in New York City?

First off, I want to explain how psychopathic of an occupation fortune telling is. Psychics have free rein in commenting on the lives of others, without truly knowing anything about them. And oddly, these so called truth dispensers are rewarded with cash for spouting every whim of their intuition.

Myself included.

Would you tip a waiter after being called a miserable sod? I don’t think so.

Now here is a controversial statement — the success of a fortune teller can be measured by the number of tears shed by its customers. Meaning, if a fortune has deeply touched the heart of an individual (as a beautiful song has the power to do so) a few droplets will signify a moment of catharsis that everyone in the room will bare witness. This is vulnerability at its finest and it is beautiful. I love it.

In this fashion, I have made at least 400 guests cry in Turkish Coffee Room. I will repeat that with unabashed pride.

But last month, I had an experience that made me reconsider my entire career — at least for a moment.

While reading the cup of a male customer, I noticed what looked like to be the image of a baby. When inquired further, the gentleman’s girlfriend rose like a rocket and uttered the words that shook me to my core.

“I am so offended”.

She stormed into the bathroom and began crying while 7 guests, ruefully, stared at the ground. I pushed through the remainder of the reading with a newly adopted — muted reverence — fit for a funeral.

There were a million questions buzzing through my head in that very moment — but the most recurring one in the back of my mind was…

“Why?”

Now the good news is that this guest returned shortly thereafter, and was laughing and smiling for the remainder of the session. It was a good save, that regardless thundered a turbulent range of emotions within me.

But who am I kidding? She clearly felt strong emotions as well.

Let me be transparent — I do fortune reading because I love people. My spirit calls of me to be an agent for inspiration and positivity, not prod traumas for kicks. Anything that stirs a negative emotion in others, stirs a negative emotion in me. One has to be a very sensitive person to be a psychic. This line of work involves absorbing, digesting, and respecting the energy levels of so many different types of individuals.

But the tears of this customer came from a source much different than I would ever intentionally step on. Yes, while I enjoy seeing people cry during Turkish Coffee Room, it’s not for offending them.

I believe in the importance of speaking freely without censorship, but I also value the concept of respecting boundaries. A majority of my work involves gauging the comfort level of each attendee in the room, and tailoring a version of the future that not only resonates with them, but also aligns with what my intuition of their grinds foretell.

But life, just as in a cup of coffee grinds, is open to interpretation. I saw a baby. And how the baby is interpreted (symbolically or physically) within the context of a fortune reading — is up to the listener, but perhaps more importantly, to one’s past life experience.

What we see today, is filtered through the knowledge of yesterday, therefore, that fickle thing called trauma, can be unintentionally triggered even at the utterance of a single word, such as “baby”.

Every single one of us has a past. But none of us reveal our triggers until they’re accidentally stepped on.

So a master fortune teller does not only soothe the future, but also honors self-expression hand in hand with respecting boundaries — but without succumbing to censorship for the sake of appeasing everyone. It’s a tight plank to walk on with many invisible egg shells to consider. It is tricky.

At the end of the day, the future itself is endlessly fruitful, frustrating, and varied. And therefore, no one should have the say to clip the wings of a fortune. How you interpret the future, is up to you. But of course, we also have the power to be respectful in how we convey this to our customers.

Long story short, a couple e-mails have been sent back and forth between myself and this guest, and all is fine once again in the Turkish Coffee Room. She even lovingly (I think) dubbed the ceremony as “The Tear Room”. Pretty catchy!

I will wear that title as a badge of honor, and respectfully, will continue to un-curb my enthusiasm for all fortunes in the future — yours included.